The Connor Chronicles Volume XCV

It’s pretty scary worrying about a family member. And I must say all of your support, the eMails, the calls, the text messages…..they mean a ton. I can tell by your tone & words how concerned you all are. LET ME BE CLEAR! I am confident that HARRY is going to be ok! Seriously, I’m more concerned about him than Gary right now!

I mean the mets are choking worse than a small jewish girl giving Patrick Ewing head! Willie Randolph is like a deer in head lights. He looks like Schmeds when Annie tells him their out of Cheesy Poofs.

If they don’t win the East their’s a good chance I’ll have a 2nd relative jump out a window in 10 days!

How are those Jose Jose Jose chants coming? Where has this guy gone?

How much of a genius is Rick Peterson now? Well at least its getting cool out so the jacket will soon make sense.

Seriously, is it the mid 90’s? Mets tanking, Yankees clinching, Brett Favre looking like an MVP, Chris Santangelo & Jacs bartending!

Alright enough of them!

Just a few hours after Gary’s accident I knew he was going to be ok. That’s because pretty much simultaneously him & Mel were both concerned with appearing in the Chronicles…..yep, even when in the ER bleeding & broken, the Chronicles are a concern!

At one point while in the ICU Gary asked a nurse for underwear….in a very drugged up voice he basically said “I want underwear, I need underwear” too which the nurse replied…….”nobody wears underwear in this ward”……..garys response sounding a bit like Christopher Walkin…….”That’s Kooky”

That’s ok though…..Gary was sleeping when the Mayor visited. Mrs Jacs woke him up, Gary looked at the Mayor & said “Hi Commissioner”……….bloomberg has been demoted…..I LOVE MORPHINE!

On the night of the fire Mel’s friend Jen drove her down part of the way until they met the police escort. So, they get to where they are meeting the escort. Jen sees the escort, but they are on the other side of a 4 way road which would require driving further & crap. Nope, not for jen….she decided to jump the curb and drive along the sidewalk towards the sirens. Nicely done.

Now, let me explain the fire department doctor from that night. First he looks like a Python….his hair was just coming up over the top….it was pure comedy. Now this doctor is not examining Gary….the hospitals doctors are doing that. Here is what transpired:

FDNY doc comes out “Gary is going to be fine. I haven’t examined him, but this is what they are telling me. He broke his wrist and his head is cut up. But he is going to be fine. Again, I haven’t examined him, but this is what they are telling me”

10 minutes later FDNY doc comes out “Gary has a broken rib. I haven’t examined him, but this is what they are telling me”

10 minutes later FDNY doc comes out “He has a couple of broken ribs. One put a small hole in his lung. I haven’t examined him, but this is what they are telling me”

Jen turns and says how about they keep this guy in there before he comes out and has Gary dead!

Seriously…..there is a reason why the ER docs aren’t telling us anything…..they aren’t done examining him.

At about 2 in the morning we are told to go grab coffee at the diner…..we get in cars….diner up the block is closed. Drive over to Franny Lewis off the LIE….closed. We say IHOP on Northern has to be opened. We head there…..on the way we pass an open diner. Do we stop….NO…the lesson as always, im an idiot. We go to iHop and its closed…..of course. Full circle back to the diner that we passed 10 minutes earlier……arghhhhhh!

While at the diner Mel is explaining the car on sidewalk story using props on the table. At one point she puts a pickle on the top of a glass….not sure what that was. In any event someone takes the pickle and eats it. Followed by Jen picking up the glass to drink and tasting nothing but pickle when expecting water……..WORTH THE PRICE OF ADMISSION!

There were FDNY guys everywhere. At one point they were taking Gary for X-rays and about 10 guys were going to show Melanie where to go. Next thing I see is the 10 FDNY guys go by….no Mel. I walk over and find Mel…..she’s like “10 guys and they lost me” Priceless……im not sure they ever realized they lost her.

At one point me , jen, mrs jacs & mel were sitting there. Mrs jacs points out how good mel is and how she gets in there and asks the questions and doesn’t let them push her around. That’s when Mrs Jacs & Jen realize that if this were Mel or I in the bed we would be in deep shit. I mean I can see a doctor telling Jen……your husband needs a new starter and alternator…..oh ok, better put them in then!

So Mel and I have made a pact that if either of us are ever in this situation we’ll take charge!

One of Gary’s big concerns was his house. He was working on a project to have the yard of the house done so that when the new baby comes, the older boys can play outside. He had a yard to level, rocks to pull out, dirt & grass to lay. HUGE project because their property is so big. Well, the other day about 30 of New Yorks bravest showed up at their house at 7:30 in the morning. They spent the day working together. A ton of the guys have never met Gary. Well, the rocks were pulled and made into a wall. 5 trucks of top soil was put in place. I think the swing set was coming yesterday. The word Mel used when Gary saw it…..OVERWHELMED. More about this coming under separate cover!

Now if I take a header out a window will 30 computer geeks show up at my house? And if so what will they do......ensure my wireless network is functioning? Make sure my Tivo Season Passes are organized?

Ok, Bruce is on NBC this morning and its been pretty impressive….but he’s doing My Hometown for the 2nd time? Seriously, with his catalog he’s doing repeats on a TV show?

Ok, tonight, Chris Santangelo will be joining Jimmy Jacs behind the bar at Donovans! That’s right, you actually have a shot at getting drunk tonight at Donovans! Plus, we’ll need extra people on hand to stop Harry from jumping in front of a Q32 on Roosevelt if the Mets lose again.

Tomorrow is the Tommy Miney Picnic at Sunnyside Gardens park. Starts at 2pm! It’s going to be a beautiful day so come on down!

Also, save the date…..January 26th will be the Youth Council dance this year.

As always, until next time, stay safe, later,
Dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya, you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who takes the shame!"