The Connor Chronicles Volume XCII

Well, its that time again! Yep, time for some nonsensical ravings of the lunatic mind! So let’s get started shall we!

This is still NY right? It’s not fucking California or Seattle right!?! In NY we go to the Deli or the guy standing in the cart on the corner and ask for a fucking coffee regular or a coffee black. We hand him a buck and we move the fuck on!

If you’re paying more than a buck for your coffee you’re an asshole!

If you’re ordering your coffee & you use more than 2 fucking words….you’re an asshole!

If a fucking machine that sounds like a fucking jet taking off is needed to make your coffee….you’re an asshole!

Are we clear on that!

Now, I have no problem with people eating salads….none at all. But if you are waiting on line behind 35 fucking people to order a salad at the “salad store” when there is a deli next door selling the same exact thing with no line…at half the price…..well then you’re an asshole!

Unless you’re visiting, pick up the fucking pace! Don’t look in the windows….dont stare at the tall buildings, don’t stop in the middle of the fucking sidewalk…..if you do, you’re an asshole!

When it’s your turn to order at Wendy’s, know what the fuck you want! You just spent 5 minutes walking through the maze like you were at Disney! What the fuck were you doing? It’s called fast food for a reason! If you don’t know your order….you’re an asshole!

Have your metro-card out BEFORE you get to the turnstile….if you don’t you’re an asshole! And by stopping short you just might end up with an umbrella or briefcase in your asshole!

And while we are on metro-cards, if it doesn’t work after 17 fucking swipes….there is something wrong with either the card or you…..its not the fucking turnstile it just worked for 1.3 million people and will work for the 2 dozen behind you……so don’t try for an 18th fucking time and get out of the way you asshole!

If you don’t have E-Z pass, get to the fucking right! And to put it more simply…if you don’t have E-Z pass you’re an asshole!

And if you do have E-Z pass, don’t keep it in the glove compartment you asshole! Stick it on the fucking window….what are you worried its going to ruin the look of your 93 Chevy? Asshole!

If you’re on line at Shea or Yankee and you’re by yourself you can only get 2 beers….those are the fucking rules. So stop wasting everyones time arguing with the person working…..your not special, you’re a freaking asshole!

And while we are at it, if you’re in a crowded bar and the bartenders are busting their ass, you order beer and that’s it! You don’t fucking order a Long Island Iced Tea and slow everything down….if you do, you’re an asshole! In fact….I’m making this a rule!

If your cell phone has a speaker phone function and you use it on the train, bus, or anywhere in public….you’re not cool….you’re an asshole! All you keep saying to each other is “what was that”….you know why? It doesn’t work with background noise you fucking asshole!

Alright, that’s it for now…some Events!

Tomorrow, Saturday June 23rd, Texas Hold’em at the center!

Friday July 13th, Trivia & music at KC Moores….im hoping the Friday the 13th thing jinxes the Falloons!

As always, until next time, stay safe, later,
Dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya, you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who takes the shame!"