The Connor Chronicles Volume LXXXIX

Being bald & fat was never really a problem because I always had the……Yeah, but I’m still young thing going for me. Well now that that’s shot to shit we’ll have to come up with something else.

I’m open to suggestions! Maybe

I’ve still got one good eye!

My back only goes out twice a year now!

I’ve still got a kegarator!

Ahhhhh….fuck it…we’ll stick with the oldie but goodie….i’m a genius & I’ve got the papers in the car to prove it!

I think some people might have been expecting a Chronicles when we got back from Vegas…..and trust me there were 50,100 things to write about….but what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

The only thing about that trip……Larry Fay was there for 4 days…….do we think he was on duty for 2 or 3 of them?

Is New Jersey having a bad run with governors or what? Making me rethink my future political career. The only career with more problems these days is being a yankee pitcher.

Ok, so everyone is pissed at Baldwin for calling his daughter a pig or whatever, but they are ok with Bassinger leaking the tape? Are you kidding me! What crap that is. Lets see how your little angel does when she sees mommy’s snatch on the big screen over and over again.

Met ball boy & club house hand found to be selling steroids and shit…….in related news Kenny Hellmann moves to Canada…..film at 11.

Let’s set the scene…..KC Moores 2 up about 10 runs (shocking I know) late in the game. Little Neck inn has a runner on 2nd. Single up the middle and Kirk (one throw a year) Fay decides to try to get the runner at the plate…….great call their kirk! Now enjoy your season as our 7th string first basemen!

Tough time to be a member of the Torre family. Joe’s team is in trouble as his pitchers are going down more often than Governor McGreevey. His brother Frank had his 2nd Kidney transplant (from his daughter) earlier this week. And now his sister the nun lost her job as a principal of a catholic school in Queens……….maybe she could be the Yankees new strength and conditioning coach.

Unless his head or arms fall off Bonds is going to break the Home run record………and trust me appendages falling off can happen so don’t bet on it yet.

And while your thinking about betting…….Great Hunter is going to come from the 20th gate and finish in the top 2 tomorrow.

The Queen Mother is going to the Derby tomorrow……she wear’s fucked up hats on regular days…what will she wear tomorrow?

Also, tomorrow night…..the potential for a great fight. Being billed as a great fight. Some think Oscar is going to get his ass kicked…..which is a definite possibility. But I think Oscar wins in either a late round TKO or a decision with some controversy of course. But if there is a true KO….it’s Oscar that goes down. I might actually have to Pay Per View this and Tivo it because it has that kind of potential…..im such a loser! It’s only fitting that the match that can save boxing is on Big Irish’s birthday!

Can we stop booing David Wright now? Fucking morons!

Or how about A-rod…..is he ok for a month or 2 now before those idiots start booing him again?

Tomorrow is Cinco De Mayo…..so Happy Cinco De Mayo Delia….hahahahahaha……that just kills me!

Now that Mike & Kristin are married they rival Schmeds & Annie in the combined largest breasts competition…..i say we have an official measuring party! I think Mike’s man boobs might put them over the top though!

Ok, I’ve got things to do so I’m going to cut it short……some events and stuff below…please see the events page for details. Check out announcements too. And a new vid clip.

Chris Santangelo’s next show is Monday & Tuesday May 14 & 15! See events page for details!

Tommy Ashton B-ball tourney is May 18th & 19th!

BBQ & Raffle to support the Downing Scholorship fund is June 9th!

Texas Hold’em at the parish center is June 23rd!

Donna Dennis Walk is September 15th!

As always, until next time, stay safe, later,
Dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya, you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who takes the shame!"