The Connor Chronicles Volume LXXXV

So, Anna Nicole Smith was found dead. Investigators think Drugs & Alchohol may have been involved! Wow…..give these guys a promotion & a raise! I mean do ya think so Sherlock! That’s like saying:

Dan Connor’s cholesterol is high. Fried Cheese & Bacon may be involved!

Or John Kelly’s fat. Beer & Pizza might be involved!

Or Kenny Hellmann is Mr. Met. Bulbous Dome & endless supply of Met’s clothes might be involved!

Or Donna Joyce is sexy. Big Cans & sweet ass might be involved! HAHAHAHA (im gonna hear it about this one)

Seriously though. If you want to be an Investigator then really prove something! I mean like go out and find proof that Jimmy Jacs is actually a bartender! I’ve seen no evidence of this!

Or how about some proof that Harry runs a gym! Come one, that’s a fraud! He would tell you how many treadmills (well he calls them coat racks) they have, but that would require walking down a flight of stairs! Never mind trying to get back up the stairs!

Or proof that Joey Hellmann is a man! I mean only woman go to Barry Manillow concerts! And only little girls go with their mother, grandmother & 7 other woman! Someone check him for breasts….um, scratch that…..on second thought….just check him for balls.

In other news some genius of a politician wants to make it illegal to cross the street with headphones on. That’s right, no listening to music while crossing. Is this such a big problem that we need a politician to get involved? Seriously, are there hundreds of people a day getting run over because they’re listening to music? And if they are….who cares. If you’re too fucking stupid to cross the street safely while listening to music you shouldn’t be allowed to live anyway! I mean I was all for the no cell phones while driving thing as you can kill someone else……but in this case who are you hurting? Seriously, who voted for this guy? Shouldn’t there be other things on the agenda……I don’t know maybe the graffiti that is making this city about as attractive as Roseanne Barr after she’s gone bobbing for French Fries!

Congrats to John Kelly on the Colts win on Sunday! Last year it was Kirk’s Steelers, this year, Johns Colts. Word is they celebrated by sharing a Snickers!

Snickers Satisfies!

Ok…that’s it….short & sweet. I’ve got work to do!

Oh, before I go.....Feel better Weeps!

But first a word from our sponsors! See Events page for details!

Saturday February 10th: Texas Hold’em fund raiser at Knights of Columbus Hudson Council.

Sunday February 11th: Craig Gerraghty Film Screenings.

Friday February 16th: Matt Scott Live at KC Moores.

Saturday February 24th: Texas Hold’em at the Parish Center!!!!

As always, until next time, stay safe, later,
Dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya, you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who takes the shame!"