The Connor Chronicles Volume LXXXIV

Ok….lets finish the year with some nonsensical ravings of the lunatic mind. Otherwise known as my random thaughts…..and some stories of course.
Global warming? What Global Warming….Just because it’s mid to high 50’s the last week of December and Polar Bears are being listed as at risk….im sure it means nothing. I’ll contribute to the healing of the earth by promising to stop using hairspray!

I tell ya, white people are something else. James Brown dies and is about to get every headline so what do we do…….we have a president die!

James Brown was a great entertainer & I have no problem with people soluting that….but lets not paint him as a freaking saint. “I Feel Good” yeah, of course ya do…might be that white powder below your nose or the 3 girls on their knees that blow.

Now that he’s dead Ford might get the respect he deserves…..not saying he was the best president ever, but the man inherited a legitamate mess…..i mean the country was in dissaray.

Hang on Michaael Vick is talking on ESPN……hahahahahahhahaah……he’s not happy. Look in the mirror pal.

Speaking of NFC football……seriously…..if the Giants make the playoffs after losing like 6 of their last 8 well then they should just slide a deserving AFC team into that spot. Its such a joke.

Ahhh…..i love a nice christmas story. Like the one about 22 year old Erica Torres who was fighting with her 14 year old sister over a pack of cigarettes. The mother who yells at them to stop fighting gets stabbed by the older girl. Not with a kitchen knife…..no no silly, she used the samurai sword her boyfriend gave her for christmas! That reminds me where did I put that Uzi jen gave me?

Speaking of nonsensical ravngs of the lunatic mind….or in this case just an average raving lunatic. I walk into Donovans last Friday & find both of my brother in laws (the jacs brothers) sitting having dinner. How nice. I mean sure it’s perfectly normal to see Jimmy while he’s bartending hanging out on the other side of the bar, but it’s a rarity to see Gary hanging out since he moved north to Canada. So what led to this. Well let’s set the table. Gary is stuck in traffic for like 2 hours. He’s at the Whitestone Bridge just miles from work and an exchange with his captain that goes something like this.

Gary: “Hey cap, listen I’m like 3 miles away, but im on the bridge and not moving, so I’m going to be late for work”

Captain: “Wow that must be some traffic if your going to be late”

Gary: “yeah, been in the car for 2 hours”

Captain: “But still, your not due in until tomorrow night”

Gary: ……silence

Chris Santangelo has left Donovans on a leave of absence……im not sure what was bothering him, but I know it couldn’t have been Jacs getting in his way behind the bar!

Schmeds & Annie got a new truck. It has a flat bed….you know a pickup. That’s what I call planning ahead…sooner or later they will just have to plop him on the flatbed to get him from place to place!

You knew I couldn’t close out the year without another Schmeds joke!

Another Christmas is in the books….which is great for us fat guys….we have clothes that fit well that havent been through the dryer 5 times so it looks like we lost weight!

Mets lost out on Barry Zito….perhaps if his name was Barry Zitoquez we could have landed him.

Yanks looking to trade big unit…..honestly who wants him?

I love the whole…..Miss USA is supposed to be a role model crap…..ummmmm….how about parents…cant they be a role model anymore? Is that asking too much?

Donald & pumpkin head are fighting and its just the best unitntentional comedy ever!

Ok….Sadam being hanged…ummmm….Pay Per View….hello…..money for a cause?

Some women wrote into the Daily News complaining about Brad & Angelina’s family being on the cover stating her family is just as good looking……well the news took her up on it….i don’t know if their family name is Adams, but there sure were a lot of Things & It’s in that pic.

Ok…..one of my best friends ever….Bernie O…..my how thngs change so damn fast. Not only did he get married in 2006…..to his perfect match I might add……but now him and Amy are expecting……which is shocking cause Bernie never was a good swimmer, but apparently his boys can swim.

But a marriage or preganancy are not the biggest changes in the life of Bernie O’Hara in 2006….nope, not at all.

If you remember a few weeks ago I sent out an eMail for Kristy saying she had some tickets to get rid of. She received a few responses and had to turn some people away….but the first person to respond….the person to get the tickets…..Bernie O’Hara! That’s right……Bernie O, married soon to be father is also a Barry Mannilow fan!

He’s a shell of the man he used to be….which is saying something because he was never more than 5 foot 2 or something!

Seriously though…..congrats guys!

I havent come up with a New Years resolution yet……im not one for resolutions. Things change too fast….i mean just look at what happened to Bernie in 06!

If I do come up with a resolution I’ll let you know.

But in the mean time, here’s to hoping that we all laugh a bit more in 07!

Here’s to family & friends and those that can’t be with us!

Here’s to health & happiness for you & yours in the New Year!

Here’s to seeing each of you at some of the many different events during the year!

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

As always, until next time, stay safe, later,
Dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya, you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who takes the shame!"