The Connor Chronicles Volume LXXXII

Is Michael Richards Racist? Was his apology sincere? Or was it just sad?

Is Kelly Ripa homophobic? Was her explanation valid? Or was it just an excuse?

Who is Rosie “pumpkin head” O’Donell to judge? Who are any of us?

We can offer opinions. We can comment on what we’ve seen….but we can’t judge!

Well except on the OJ matter….on that we can all judge…..he’s guilty. Granted Michael Richards would have said it much harsher than that.

Ok…let’s break all 3 of these things down.

Let’s start with Michael Richards. Have you seen the video’s? First the actual outburst on stage, then the apology on Letterman? The outburst is just out of control. I mean the man lost control. He briefly tried to cover it up by acting as if he was just being outrageous comically, but that didn’t hold as just exploded again and again. He was wrong….he was way wrong. There is no excuse. But lets be honest with ourselves. If every single one of us is honest with ourselves we will admit that at some point and times in our life we have had racist thoughts. Its an unfortunate part of human nature….but what he did was totally unacceptable. Some comments on crowd reaction. First of all, I’m absolutely stunned that nobody physically went after him. The majority of the crowed got up and left. Some yelled cracker & white boy….but hey, hate breeds hate….but 2 wrongs don’t make a right….yada yada yada. Then he goes on Letterman at Seinfelds urging……and to his credit he offers no excuse other than he was wrong & he is ashamed and that he apparently has this hate & fire that came out, but isn’t a racist. Um, well sorry, you are a racist. Telling a group of black men that 50 years ago they would be hanging upside down from a tree with a fork up their ass……and yelling Nigger repeatedly….yeah, that is racist. But he just babbled on….the letterman audience was laughing….hell, letterman was laughing a bit. Seinfeld was saying its not funny. It was really awkward.

Now if Kelly Ripa saw the clip of Richards going nuts would she think he was gay? Well, he sure has some mannerisms that would lead you to think that….just watch the clip. But is Kelly a homophobe for saying to Clay Gaykin “I don’t know where your hands been” after he covered her mouth? I’m going with No on this. Pumpkin head states Ripa wouldn’t have said that to anyone else…..i say BS…it was a comedic line. Pumpkin head said if it was Mario Lopez she wouldn’t have said it……BS with Lopez the line is funnier because the guy is openly banging like 5 of the hottest women in Hollywood at the same time! It’s a funny line that’s been used a thousand times in a thousand situations and works in almost all of them. Rosie was just upset because she is gay and wanted it to be a gay issue…….not that theres anything wrong with that.

Now onto OJ. Ok, Judith Regan is a cunt….we know that. Ruport Murdoch is scum…we know that too. And OJ is a murdering prick….we know that too…..so why were people shocked by this whole thing? I mean outraged fine, but shocked….please. Before this thing broke I had an eMail exchange with a columnist from ESPN.com. Her name is Jemele Hill and she is a black woman (the name didn’t give that away?) who had just written her first column for ESPN and it was pretty damn funny and she definitely goes into the whole black stereo type thing which was great.

Me to Jemele

Hi Jemele,

As an overweight (ok, fat) guy with thinning hair (ok, bald) who happens to be Caucasian (ok white) I have to admit you did a great job on your opening column. Well, I'm assuming it was you opening column. It's the only one I've seen thus far.

In any event, in case the voices in your head didn't tell you I though I would. Well done!

Oh, and did OJ do it? Come on don't all you black people tell each other everything!

I look forward to your future work, oh and whenever you get a chance tell Bill Simmons it is simply awesome that his wife is kicking his ass in NFL picks!

later,
Dan Connor
Woodside NY

Jemele to me

LOL, Dan. You are hilarious.

No, us black people took a secret oath. We can never tell.

The moral of the story……cant we all get along? And we didn’t even have to beet each other over the head.

Ok, I’ve rambled on about serious topics enough for now. Let’s move on.

It’s our annual Thanksgiving column……so that means time to list things we are thankful for!!!!!

I’m thankful that Jen hasn’t kicked me out so far….10 years of marriage and counting! I have been kicked to the couch for snoring reasons….and anyone who has ever traveled with us understands why.

I’m thankful for the trend of woman just randomly dressing as prostitutes…..it used to be you only got that treat if you ran into a prostitute or on Halloween…now it’s a daily occurrence.

I’m thankful for celebrities behaving badly…….Paris, Mel, Kramer, Tara, OJ and the rest of you dysfunctional self absorbed should have been blow jobs……thank!

I’m thankful for a new Who album……I’m such a fucking loser!

I’m thankful for Schmeds picking me up for softball every Sunday morning….because by doing so I get to hand him a bacon, egg & cheese HERO!!!! His appetite keeps me in material for weeks at a time………and yeah, I have a Hero with him….but no cheese on mine!

I’m thankful that we fucking lost this Sunday & that softball is over……I’ll just send Schmeds a sandwich this week!

I’m thankful for Tivo…..seriously……greatest invention since mozzarella stix!

Which reminds me….i’m thankful for mozzerrall stix…..mmmmmmmm fried cheese!

I’m thankful Soldier girl is home safe & sound…….well safe yes…..she was never really sound to begin with.

I’m thankful for friends bringing their kids around once in a while………gotta love the birth control!!! Those McKenna kids make me think vasectomy!

I’m thankful for my keg-erator…yeah, I know this was on the list last year too….but it means so damn much to me!

I’m thankful so many of you give the Chronicles the time of day and let me do something I truly enjoy…..writing…….despite the spelling.

I’m thankful for relax fit jeans………lets just say mine are very relaxed!

I’m thankful for Michael Haggerty falling rounding third…….pure comedy at its finest!!!

I’m thankful for Jimmy Jacs getting me a beer while he was working on Monday….granted I waited 20 minutes, but he did get it! Actually Jacs, thanks for the logo!

And finally, I’m thankful for family & friends. It’s what makes the world go round…..well not really, gravity is what does that….but you know what I mean. Damn its hard being a genius sometimes.

Hope to see you tonight at KC Moores for a Thanksgiving Eve version of The Good, The Bad & The Ugly of 80’s music!

Wishing you & your families a very Happy & Healthy Thanksgiving!

See below for upcoming Events….as always, check the events page for full details.

Also, I added a new video to the vids page!!!

Thanksgiving Eve: KC Moores for the Good the Bad the Ugly of 80’s music.

Friday December 1st: KC Moores live music with Matt Scott (performed with Crush)

Saturday December 9th: KC Moores for the annual Tommy Ahston Raffle!

Friday December 15th. Donovans Pub for Flashback Friday

New Years Eve: St. Adelberts New Years Eve Bash

As always, until next time, stay safe, later,
Dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya, you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who takes the shame!"