The Connor Chronicles Volume LXXIV

Well, March is gone & April is here! What does that mean? Well, with the annual arrest/rehab of (insert either Doc Gooden or Strawberry) here, it means baseball season is upon us.

But let’s not forget March madness which went out with a whimper…..what a terrible final weekend, so disappointing after the incredible first 2 weeks!

However, with so little action in the games it gave us time to ponder questions like…”hey, has anyone ever seen Greg Gumble & Danny Opollo in the same room before?” Seriously, other than a little spray on tan aren’t they the same exact person? And I mean very little spray on tan!

Ok, here is why the vast majority of Yankee fans are total morons who know absolutely nothing about baseball. On opening day your team comes out & smacks the crap out of Oakland, but what do you want to talk about? Billy Wagner entering the game at Shea to Enter Sandman!

NEWS FLASH ASSHOLES…..Billy Wagner was using the song BEFORE Mariano! Billy Wagner actually likes Metallica…..Mariono does not! And more importantly you ignorant morons, it’s a fucking song……who cares? What does it have to do with baseball? Tell me, whats more important, the Yankees winning a game or who enters to what song? Apparently the song is more important to you idiots!

Met fans couldn’t care what song Wagner enters to as long as they win games! Hell, he can enter to I’m every woman if he doesn’t blow the save!

Bad news for the Baltimore Orioles, Anna Benson won’t be sleeping with the entire team. Instead her & Kris will be getting back together. Seriously, she’s upset about him cheating on her? She’s a former stripper! The only tit’s seen by more men then hers are Janet Jackson’s & she had to take it off at the super bowl to pull that one off! Seriously, she’d have fewer balls bouncing off her chin if she was catching for Tim Wakefield!

I’ve been trying to figure out where Leni & Jimmy Jacs got the name Noah & what it means. Apparantly it’s Austrian for Carry On Luggage. This became evident as we prepared to travel to Cancun and they though they can just carry him on without adding him to the manifest.

I spent a week as close to the equator as I really like to get and didn’t use an ounce of sunscreen…..that is called excellent shade/beer management!

The service was great at the resort. I haven’t seen that many Mexicans trying to get my attention since I drove past Gleasons paint store! Speaking of which, what is the current rate for those day laborers? Is it $100? Might want some to help with throwing a ton of crap away.

Rangers have made the playoffs for the first time in like 8 years…..those Dolan boys sure know how to turn a franchise around……ooopppssss, who has a napkin? I apparently dripped some sarcasm.

CT gets married this Saturday? What’s the line on if he remembers to show up or not? I mean seriously, not worried about cold feet, just him simply forgetting the date.

I’d like to congratulate Sony Pictures on Basic Instinct 2……yep, it finished behind something named Larry the cable guy….and yes, I think that is a guy who works for Time warner and filmed himself doing installations. In it’s opening weekend BI2 grossed 3.2 million dollars. Let’s see….Sharon Stone’s contract was $15 million. Plus she had 20k in weekly expenses and 6 first class seats on a private jet at her disposal for the entire production period. Then throw in the payroll for EVERYONE else and all the other production costs……hmmmmm…..i’m not an accountant, so I’ll verify with Nora, but I think we lost on this one.

Three quick announcements. First, the Events Page will be moved over to this site in the next couple of days. Second, a new clip has been added to the clips page…check it out.

Lastly, I’m sure most of you already heard that Mike Sheerin has passed away, a victim of ALS (Lou Gehrigs disease). The last day of the wake is today (4/5) at roths (2-5, 7-9) and the funeral is tomorrow at Sebastians @ 10:30. Keep Mike’s family in your thoughts & prayers.

Cheers to Sheers!

As always, until next time, stay safe, later,
Dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya, you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who takes the shame!"