The Connor Chronicles Volume LXVIII

It’a a reality of life that we will have bad/sad days. But somehow we always find a way to smile, a way to laugh. Well, I was pretty bummed this morning and then the unintentional comedy gods shined on me! I mean normally a 7am zool sighting would tick me off, but today it was part of the comic fate!

Let’s paint the picture shall we. Roosevelt avenue which was ripped up for repavement I think back in June is finally getting paved. The avenue is closed in both directions. However, they are letting cross traffic through 58th. There are 18 wheelers, school busses, taxis and everything else backed up for blocks and blocks trying to cross 58th and make the turn onto Woodside avenue. It’s mayhem. Horns honking. Fingers flipping & tounges flapping!

At first I’m thinking great no freaking bus! How can the city be allowed to do this. Then I read the sign that say’s they will be done by 6:30am. Yeah, and the house next to me was to be ready in December of 2003.

So the mayhem is ensuing and out from between an 18 wheeler & a school bus comes Darren “zool” Daulton! That’s right folks, he is taking his 3 months of solid church parking lot traffic direction experience and is going to resolve this issue.

So he’s standing there waving cars through against the light telling the school bus & 18 wheeler to wait. Meanwhile the crossing guard is doing the EXACT opposite! You can’t make this shit up! The guy in the 18 wheeler has his door open and is screaming at him.

Me and this Spanish guy are standing there watching & laughing when he says to me in a thick accent “freaking fool”. To which I replied….”Oh no sir….it’s freaking Zool”. He didn’t get it. I then asked him if he had any popcorn for the show. That’s when he walked away.

So now we have the 18 wheeler, the school bus, a cab and a regular car all facing each other bumper to bumper at the intersection of 58th & Woodside. In fact, theres a good chance they will be there when KC Moores opens. Not a car has moved for at least 5 minutes. I look down 58th and there is a traffic cop car about 7 cars back. The traffic agent gets out of his car. Looks up the block. Sees the mess. Sees Zool trying to back the bus up and wave the cab through. So what does the traffic agent do? He throws his hands in the air. Gets in his car & flips a bitch and gets out of there!

Yep, my tax dollars at work! Speaking of my tax dollars at work. I played a golf outing last Monday. Mostly firemen on the outing. So the group in front of me….3/4 of the group are out on ¾. Seriously. And the 4th (schmeds) is on his way!

At least maybe then he can finish our basement.

Here’s something else from the unintentional comedy files. The Q32 stops right in front of my building. I take it home sometimes. So the Q32 picks me up on 56th & goes straight to 59th and makes a right. At least 70% of the time when that bus makes a right someone stands and says “Where’s he going? He’s making a right? He’s going the wrong way!”. Now, I’ll be the first to admit (with all do respect to The Duck, Georgie Meets & Chippy Riley) that bus drivers aren’t always the sharpest tools in the shed, but I’m pretty sure they know the route they are supposed to take. It’s not a train on a track, but it is pretty damn consistent! How do you just get on a bus and assume it goes straight? Theres a reason they have turn signals! Hell, what do you think the Q stands for! The killer is that I’ve seen repeat offenders. Hell theres one women who we have stopped from getting on the bus! We know where she’s going, but she doesn’t!!!

I saw scam bitch a while ago. However, people have taken it to a whole new level. Extreme scam bitching. The new thing is that when the wheelchair person gets on the ramp, the person with them gets on too! Ummm…..your legs work. Hell I’m almost positive that the dude in the chairs legs work…..one of you have to pay!

So, the Minnesota Vikings are 1 game out of first place! Not bad as this is already week 7 of the NFL season. Granted they only have 1 win. Their coach was caught scalping super bowl tickets. Over their first 2 games they turned the ball over 50% of the possessions. Their QB best work to date is in a FedEx commercial. And of course the infamous sex party on the equivalent of the circle line on a lake in Minnisota. How has the coach not been fired? Seriously….we might as well send Zool out there!

My favorite line is one of the players said “They can’t touch us. We was on international waters”.

So the new dress code in the NBA is racist according to players. Isiah (worst front office man in history) makes the Knicks wear jackets and ties….nobody complained about that! When I worked for Smith Barney I had to wear a white shirt, dark suit & tie. And I didn’t make 10 million a year. Tim Duncan says “I don’t own a sports coat”. Hey Tim, buy a clothing factory & shut the fuck up!

Ok.. I’m sure most if not all of you are aware that Mrs. Kiernan passed away yesterday. Wake is at Roths Saturday & Sunday (2-5 & 7-9) with the funeral mass on Monday at 10:30 at Sebastian’s.

A quick word about Mrs. K. As my brother Charlie wrote in an eMail last night “the world is certainly minus one classy lady”. We all have family, we all have friends. To me Mrs. K was both. Everyone knows my views on the current state of the church, but you all know that I believe in God & heaven. And right know Mister K, Big Irish and a bunch of others who have gone before are welcoming her. This morning the weather man said we can expect rain over the next few days. It will be heavy at times with thunder. Well, I don’t need a Doppler 2 million to tell me that. Mrs. K will have eternity to rest in peace, but upon her arrival I have a feeling there will be some celebrating. In fact, knowing Mister K, they’re gonna raise a little hell right there in heaven! I for one would expect nothing less!

Some upcoming events….check Events page for details.

October 29th. KC Moores 80’s theme Halloween Party.
November 5th KC Moores Meadowlands trip

As always, until next time, stay safe, later,
Dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya, you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who takes the shame!"