The Connor Chronicles Volume LXI

Houston we have a fucking problem and I’m not even there yet! Why do I ttravel? Seriously, its like fucking torture. The trip started bad enough, but after one Amstel on the plane I am relegated to Bud Light! This is like a trip to the proctologist!

It’s been a mess from the beginning! We pulled away from the gate right on time. Only to sit on the tarmac for more than 3 hours before taking off! I should have been in my hotel room by now.

I didn’t even mention the screaming brat 4 rows back. Or the guy behind me who has not stopped complaining and arguing with flight attendants the entire time.

Arghhhhhhhhhh…..ok back to this crap beer and my music. I’m sure there will be more to follow.

Ok…..I thought everything was bigger in Texas….well not my freaking shower stall! I can’t face the shower head without hitting the walls….and yes, I know im fat.

Ok, back to last night…after we finally land I grab a cab which was easy. And I was impressed…clean car, the drive didn’t smell, he spoke English and the air conditioner in the taxi pumped!

Should be no more than a 20 minute ride to the hotel, especially this late at night, the guy says probably 15 minutes. Unless of course your me. Then while riding along 45 south you find that all not, 1, not 2, not 3, but all 4 lanes are closed. Complete stop. Got to the hotel about an hour later.

Ok…check in go to bed…wake up & find the shower problem.

Go down and have breakfast which sucked….and you know how I love my breakfast.

Go to training and it went very well…cant complain. They take our lunch orders so I figure its to have food delivered. But at 12:30 we get up leave the building and cross the road to the restaurant. It’s not like our food was waiting for us so I don’t really understand why this happened. In any event, we walk out of the restaurant & it’s pouring rain…..of course.

Finish training….and yes we have the obligatory idiot who asks 10 thousand questions that either have no bearing, are nonsensical or obviously will be covered later.

Head back to the hotel where they have a cocktail party for us. I’m drinking ice cold local beer called Shiner…..no amstel. But its pretty good.

Then one of the locals gets me. I can tell you about his 2 sons, his 2 wives, his 2 brothers, his tour of duty in Vietnam & a ton of other shit that made me want to slit my fucking wrists. Seriously, all the times you pain in the fucking asses call me with stupid fucking questions……none of you could have dialed during this excructiating 45 minutes!?!

Ok….from when I was on the plane up until this point at least 10 people have said “you have to go to Kema Boardwalk”. Especially on Thursday, live band. I’m like, ok…that’s all me.

So, lets look at the timeline.

6:45 leave cocktail party
6:50 Ask Helena at front desk to call for cab to take me to Kema.
7:16 Group of people from class leaving ask if I want a ride. I say no, cab should be here.
7:26 A woman asks Michelle at the front desk to call her a cab to the airport. All of a sudden Helena says, “oh, I forgot your cab”
7:27 Michelle calls for 2 cabs.
7:55 First cab arrives, I let the woman take because she has a flight.
8:05 Helena calls to check on my cab…they say 10 minutes.
8:16 I hear Michelle say that the restaurants on the boardwalk close at 9pm.
8:17 I tell Helena to cancel my cab and go to the hotel restaurant for dinner. Exactly 87 minutes from when I first asked for a cab.

All this and theres still tomorrow!

On the good side. Everyone has been incredibly friendly. When indoors the AC is awesome. I mean its actually cold, but I would never complain about that. And my steak at dinner was aweseome. Totally opposite the Oklahoma experience.

2 random thoughts.

Ok, what’s with all the Asians in Woodside? I thought Flushing, err Frushing was their place. How about we change the 7 train to the L train…..i figure then they will all take the R and we’ll be done with that! Come on, think about, think about…you’ll get it….there it is! That was very funny fucking joke & you all know it!

Arod (alex Rodriguez) was born and raised in the USA (NY in fact), he is being paid $252 million dollars by the Yanks. But yet he is going to play for the Dominican Republic in the World Cup Of Baseball next year.

How you Yankee fans feeling about that? I know im pissed!

As always, until next time, stay safe, later,
Dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya, you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who takes the shame!"