The Connor Chronicles Volume LIII

Ok, putting the Olympics in Athens has to be the worst idea since giving Mary CRASHton a drivers license!

For years it has been known that they wouldn’t be ready. Now, 4 weeks before the games they have a power outage that lasts for 14 hours! Whats going to happen when hundreds of thousands of people fill up the rooms of all those hotels. Lights are turned on…and by the way it’s the summer games….can you say air conditioning?

Hell, terrorists are loving this….they get to stay in the safety of their caves and wait for crap to just break down! Then they take responsibility & people panic.

Well, you go to Greece and your gonna get it in the @ss….theres a reason for stereo types you know!

Also a worse decision than let’s say, lending Mary CRASHton your car, has to be the location of the Republican National Convention next month.

I mean, seriously, who planned this Al Qaeda? Think about how this conversation had to go.

“What city would be a great terrorist target?”
“New York, so let’s have it there!”
“Good idea, at the very least we will bankrupt the city. However, we could put it in a location that would be easy to protect!”
“Like, on top of the busiest train station in the world!”

Seriously…..how stupid can you be? Let’s not go to the Javits Center. That would make too much sense. Let’s see, it’s made for conventions & being surrounded by water and factories, it would be a thousand times easier to protect.

No, let’s go to the garden. Make it miserable for people who work in midtown to get to work, because, hey, we haven’t been through enough. Oh yeah, and let’s close down every store within a 8 block radius to hurt them as bad as we can.

Well, the Carny folk were in town for 5 days, which coincidentally is their average IQ. We weren’t making much money until Annie worked a couple of booths and started flashing some cleavage to the kids. Summer….always makes me think of water-mellons!

I did cook for 5 days and word is I didn’t kill anyone…..although Mr. H after spending that many hours with me in the booth considered tying weights around his ankles and jumping in the deep end!

Side note….the Carny folk have a higher average IQ than the kids currently working the center…..& yes, Rob that includes your nephew. In fact, he brings the average down!

Some people say that it is hard to tell the difference when a person expresses fear, horror or shock. Well, I can confirm that the difference is evident. A recent example.

Mike Moore hands tickets to the guy working the Ferris Wheel so he can ride with Christopher. The expression on the guy working the rides face at this point is horror.

Mike sits in the car & the wheel starts moving and with every squek the expression on the guys face turns more to fear.

Mike successfully exits the car, the ride still in tact, and the guys expression turns to shock.

Harry underwent successful knee surgery on Monday. Of course the real question is, how did he know there was a problem with his knee? I mean, when is the last time he saw his knees?

Hmmm….any other fat folks I can pick on? It sucks being perfect! As I eat my philly cheese steak & fries (with diet pepsi of course)!

Speaking of my lunch….I purchased it from the street vendor on the corner. He has great stuff. The rocket scientist in front of me orders a Cheeseburger, fries, coke….and follows it up with….To Go!!! Your on the corner of 55th & Madison…what do you expect them to put out a snack tray for you? I had to make sure it wasn’t one of the kids from the center!

Can the home run derby be any more boring? Come on MLB…add more skills competition and speed this crap up. Put a target at the plate & make outfielders hit it. Put one at 2nd & have catchers hit it. Hardest thrower?

Do I really have to think of everyything?

Hey, Rob has grass around his house…..try not to smoke it Rob!

No truth to the rumor that there are already tire tracks in the grass.

Ok, send me photos for the web site, send me anything for the events page. Hit the forums and/or the live chat…..lets have some fun.

Also, spread the word that the site is there.

As always, until next time, stay safe!

Later,
Dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya, you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who takes the shame!"