The Connor Chronicles Volume XLVIII

I've got good news & bad news.

The good news is that NBC has offered to sponsor The Connor Chronicles and
we are in negotiations. The bad news is that if we do confirm this deal,
for 2 weeks before the release of a new volume you will recieve eMails with
headings such as:

This week in a very special Connor Chronicles; or
If you only read one Connor Chronicles this year it has to be this one; or
The Connor Chronicles that they will all be talking about; or
You've laughed, you've cried, but you've never seen this..on an all new
Connor Chronicles; or
The first of 4 all new Connor Chronicles in a row (yes the deal includes
repates & sindication); or
The very best Connor Chronicles yet; or
A Connor Chronicles that you don't want to miss!

I mean is it every single ER that they pull this crap with? I'd rather
watch a very brady christmas than another very special ER.

And another thing.....what is with this Star Registry thing? Yeah I tell
Jen for valentines day that I got a star named after her, and I'll be seeing
stars!

For those of you at the dance a couple of weeks ago, I hope you had a good
time. No matter how many times I tell my nephew Jimmy he just doesnt get
it......You don't do the worm until we play Shout!

While I'm taking shots at my family, here is one. My cousin Timmy who is
heavier than Tom Casey ever was had me between a rock & a hard place...well
ok, a mountain & a hard place.

Basically at Donovans a couple of weeks ago, he kept sitting in the chairs
in the dining room & in my mind I'm calculating the laugh factor if one
broke & he was on his ass. However, the problem was I had to weigh the
comedic value with the problems caused by having to pick him up!

Check the time stamp on this eMail. No, your not reading it wrong. For the
2nd night in a row I am working over night because of the people in LA.
And, I have to fly out there again on the 16th. So, you know where my next
material is coming from! These people are idiots.

Speaking of idiots. All over CNN and every news paper in the world last
week the headline was. US to attack Taliban in the spring! Does anyone
else see a flaw in this? It's like telling the owner of the all you can eat
buffet that Kenny, Harry, Giant Mike & Schmeds are carrying my cousin Timmy
in for lunch!

James Brown mug shot.....nothing else needs to be said!

What the hell is the saying "It all depends"? Everyone uses it. What does
it depend on? Everything depends on something! As of now, nobody is ever
allowed to say "It All Depends" again without giving more information. And
even then you are probably makeing a useless comment. Like football
announcers. Did he get the first down? It all depends on the spot! Thanks
there, thats what I call insight into the game! What else could it depend
on? Does it depend on if the guy in the 3rd row in the south end zone has
farted in the past 2 hours?

And heres one for ya, I actually saw a Maytag repairman outside my moms
building the other day! I was like the M&M when he saw santa "They do
exist!" It wasn't Mr. Calrson from WKRP in Cincinnati though.

Ok, I've got to yell at some people out west & try to get some freaking
sleep!

2 things.

1) March 27th is the benefit to raise money for the gym floor, please keep
this in your calander as most of you on this list should have a special
place in your heart for that building. $100 raffles are being sold.

2) May 8th is the 2nd annual Tommy Ashton B-ball tourney. Contact Dina,
Colleen or Tommy Carr for information.

As always, until next time, stay safe!

later,
dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya,
you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who
takes the shame!"