The Connor Chronicles Volume CXVIII

It’s been nearly two years since I’ve written a Chronicles.  I’m not sure why, I mean I always have something to say.  In any event perhaps the election and all the nonsense has me a bit more motivated….so let’s get started shall we.

Hillary Clinton changes positions more than a freaking Porn star.  Like a porn star every once in a while she lets out a moan or something without emotion that is clearly fake.  And by the time it’s over she has screwed everyone in the room and you are left refusing to believe she actually got off.

Don’t get me wrong, this doesn't mean I believe in Donald Trump.  But everyone has Donald all wrong.  He’s not a bully.  If he was a bully I wouldn’t be too worried.  No, he is much worse.  He is a wussy….you know if wussy was spelled with a P.  A whiny little over-reacting bitch.   And that is much more scary than a bully. 

I’m sorry I have to go back to the adult film industry for a moment.  There has to be someone in the industry with a casting call for people that resemble Hillary and Donald for a porn flick entitled President ERECT….I mean…has to be right?  The cover of the DVD is that meme where Donald is grabbing Hillary by the va-jay-jay. The character names are Hairy CLITon and Donald Hump.

Now let me tell you why everyone on the far left and everyone on the far right is wrong about the “Hamilton” situation.  First, the far right.  Calm the fuck down.  You know how you say 50% of the people protesting probably didn’t vote (and I agree with that)….I’m betting 80% of you didn’t read the actual statement.  The statement was great.  A fantastic message.  Nothing wrong with the statement. 

Now for you far left douches.  If you’re so freaking smart and the message is so freaking important (which it is) then why in the world would you deliver it in that manner.  There is no doubt when it is done in that manner that the message is not the story but the delivery and the person delivering it are the story.  If you don’t know this you’re a moron…and if you do know this and you do it anyway than you want the story to be about you.  Think Colin Kaepernick for Christ’s sake.

Speaking of Colin Kaepernick.  He’s just a freaking idiot.  Leaders don’t get on their knee for anyone.  Leaders stand tall.  Oh wait…he was being symbolic….you’re a freaking football player…taking a knee in football symbolizes that you have given up. 

The shame of it is that Kaepernick is in a position where he really can make a difference.  He can get out into the actual communities and speak and lead.  But hey, if you’re not going to take 10 minutes to vote I doubt you will take the time, or have the dedication, to actually make a difference in people’s lives.

If Dixon and the cast of Hamilton truly wanted to get their message across, make a statement to the VP Elect, here is how it should have gone down.  You invite him, his daughter, and his nieces backstage after the show.  They would be thrilled to be invited.  You shake their hands, you introduce yourselves.  You ask how they enjoyed the show.  After a few minutes you simply say that you do have a message for him and you hope he will share it with the President Elect, and you give the same exact statement.  It’s so freaking simple people.

Oh, and back to you far right jackasses for a minute.  You had a problem with his tweets about white girls and St. patricks day?  Really?  Remember…it’s just locker room talk. 

So how about everyone on the far left and everyone on the far right stop freaking screaming at each other and actually listen for a change.  The best communicators in the world, the best leaders in history, hear more words than they speak.  Open your minds more than your mouths!

Okay, now that I’ve equally pissed all of you off let me tell you what I’m thankful for this year.

I’m still thankful for Bacon….figured I’d get that out of the way early.

I’m thankful for videos of puppies being silly….it makes the time spent reading nonsense on facebook very much worth it.

I'm thankful for my silly puppy Crazy Gracie the Cat Dog!

I’m thankful for living in a country where people can speak freely….no matter how stupid they sound.  Seriously…some of you need to shut up.  Having a right to remain silent isn’t only for criminals. 

I’m thankful for cold beer.  I like beer.

I’m thankful for those who serve….military, first responders, all of you. 

I’m thankful for family….most of the time.

Before I forget, let me take a moment to list some of the Christmas (or Chanukah or Kwanza) gifts that I hope are given this year.

A retirement package…or pink slips, I don’t really care as long as they go away… for the entire cast of The View, Mike Francessa, Chris Berman, Stephen A. Smith, and Kim Kardashian….although I’m not sure what she would be retiring from. 

A job offer for Mayor Deblasio….I mean he’s going to need one. Rigth...he's going to need one...Right? I mean no suprises in this one...right?

A box of patience for me…it’s wearing thinner than my hair.  You can’t fix stupid!

Lastly, I think Kanye West is an asshole….BIG TIME.  However, Id be lying if I didn’t say that I absolutely like some of his tracks….and absolutely hate many more.  I know I joked about the exhaustion thing…..but the guy has issues…and we’ve seen it too many times before where these issues often lead to bad ends.  I hope he get’s the help he needs this holiday season….and then I hope he goes away.  Him and Kim can go make more sex tapes…..oh wait…that’s it…that’s why I know her!

Wishing all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow.  If the conversation turns to politics, I’m hoping the laughter is louder than the yelling.  Feel free to use any of the above if it will help!

If you are around tonight, COAL G is playing live at Donovan’s…should be a great time.

Saturday December 3rd is the annual Tommy Ashton raffle starting at 8pm.  Should be fun.

If I don’t get to see you during the Holiday season, know that I wish you and your family all the best life has to offer.  If you make a resolution for the New Year, promise yourself that you will work towards it. 

As always, until next time, stay safe, later,
Dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya, you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who takes the shame!"