The Connor Chronicles Volume CI

Time for some nonsensical ravings of the lunatic mind.  Very few, but what the hell. 

Kind of depressing that Britney is cleaning up her act.  Thank god her tramp sister should be spitting out her illegitimate kid soon.

TomKat are upset that a store revealed they’ve spent 400k on crap for Suri over the past 2 years.  Not sure if he jumped up and down on a kiddie couch in the store while complaining.

Governor Paterson has glaucoma……the mans blind so I don’t understand why this is a problem.

Let me get this straight…..the Kincks sent Isiah Thomas to scout the guy they might pick first.  That’s all, that’s the entire joke.

The met’s players and coaches have had to issue more retractions in the past 2 weeks than politicians, and that explains their current standings.

Willie Randolph is finally 100% correct, its about Race……the pennant race Willie, too bad you might not be in it.

Time to pay some Bills…hope you don’t mind, but The Chronicles has a new advertising sponsor.

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Scott Gershon says “It worked on me & it worked on a lot of people I know!”

Mark Opper says “When I laugh, its my real laugh”

Giuseppe continues “I don’t own The Chronicles….in fact I don’t know anything about it!  I just know that this is the greatest comedy blog ever for the appearance of your thinning sense of humor!  Stop hiding your real smile under that frown, stop denying that your sense of humor is thinning and do something about it!  You can be on the road to a fuller, thicker laugh ….RIGHT NOW….by getting on The Connor Chronicles!  Hey, I’m Giuseppe Franco!  I’m not putting my name on the line for something that doesn’t work!”

Now you can try the Connor Chronicles absolutely risk free!  The same Comedy selling at Giuseppe Franco’s of Beverly Hills for $450 can be yours for free just by going to thedirtyjobs.com!  Plus if you read it today The Chronicles will include access to its Video Clip page (a zero dollar value) absolutely free!

The Connor Chronicles!  We’re The One!  Just one read every 90 days!  Web Masters are not standing by!

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Poor Ted Kennedy………..this type of thing should only happen to people that drive durnk off a bridge drowning a woman…..oh wait, my bad.

Ted is back to sailing his boat daily which he does every day from May through September of every year…..good thing that pesky job of running the country doesn’t get in the way.

When did disgraced NBA referee Tim Donaghy start umpiring for major league baseball…..what’s with the home run calls?

Hillary Clinton, your car is waiting…..just tell Senetor Ted where you want to go.

NYC Transit announced that they will be closing station bathrooms from midnight to like 6am…..who knew they had bathrooms?  If they had bathrooms why do the platforms always smell like piss?

Didn’t they just make a Hulk movie 2 years ago?  I mean I know Hollywood cant come up with new ideas, but are they really down to a 2 year turn around?  Is that how short they think our attention span is?

I truly hope all of you have one of your best holiday weekends ever!  The weather looks like its going to cooperate!  I know many people have things planned….i know we have a few things going & im psyched!  So enjoy the time with family & friends as much as you possibly can!  I also know that at some point this weekend each of us will have at least one moment where we get ticked off….either at the price of gas, the price of milk, or at something someone does!   But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE  at some point this weekend, either during one of those really good moments or one of those moments when you are really ticked, just take one moment…..thats all, just one……and think about why your off on Monday. 

REMBEMBER!  Remember those who have gone before, remember those who continue to serve (remember, we are in fact at war).  They are the reason we will have those good times this weekend.  And I’m sure those continuing to serve would rather be complaining about the price of gas than doing what their doing this weekend.

So…..remember!

Some other quick shout outs!

Happy Birthday Gina (today)…..you still have time to change your mind!

Happy Birthday Peg (today also I believe)……..HYDRANT!

Happy Birthday Kenny (tomorrow)…….maybe you’ll get some Mets gear!

Happy Birthday H (Sunday)……..maybe you’ll get a new Mets Manager!

Downing Family Picnic on Saturday June 7th at Sunnyside Gardens!  Dennis will have a TV setup to watch Big Brown go for the triple crown!  Come on down and support a great cause!

As always, until next time, stay safe, later,
Dan

"My karma tells me, You've been screwed again! If you let them do it to ya, you've got yourself to blame! It's you who feels the pain! It's you who takes the shame!"